It's A Choice

By
B. Stuart Noll

Respect, honesty, caring and responsibility are words the YMCA uses to present the 4 core characteristics of its mission. These four words are also core characteristics of great relationships. One of the many things I enjoy about working here at the Manchester YMCA is the chance to develop new relationships within our community and to observe people interact with each other. It’s a true learning experience and one of the many blessings I receive each week.

Recently, I interviewed Kevin and Laura Hopkins – (photo), two longstanding members here at the Manchester YMCA of Greater Richmond. We sat down together to talk about their relationship with the YMCA - and each other.



Near the end of the interview Laura asked me, “does being married for 21 years count for anything?” Oh my Gosh! Think about this one; I’ll give you the answer later. They have been together for 26 years but their association with the YMCA began approximately in the year 2000. Laura became involved as a Youth Sports Specialist at the Tuckahoe Branch and both have been active in organized sports almost all of their lives either as participants or as a referee/umpire in Laura’s case.

Their story is much more interesting than just a daily workout together. Get to know them, because if you do I assure you, you will be lifted up, as I was and am, by their encouragement, their heart for each other and for the community in which they live and serve.

When I think of respect and caring I think of Kevin and Laura Hopkins. When I imagine couples working out together (something many couples find hard to do) I think of Kevin and Laura. Both of them had obstacles to overcome to stay interested in their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. It didn’t matter whether it was Kevin’s diagnosis of diabetes or Laura’s injuries, over the years they have continued to support, encourage and love each other. They simply made whatever sacrifices were necessary to help each other heal, grow and stay in the game – and I think both would agree the YMCA was an integral part of their recoveries.

Working out or training 5-6 days a week can become intense no matter how close two people are. Laura said “sometimes the workout became a competition.” Even solid relationships can deteriorate because of constant one-ups-man-ship. But Kevin and Laura respected and cared about each other enough to overcome their intense individual competitiveness by deciding that their lives together were more important than any barrier they could face. Did they stop working out? No! What did they do? They didn’t change their lifestyle, they changed their mindset to honor each other even more and make it fun again. How? They rearranged their schedule, began to get involved at church on Wednesday evenings, made Friday nights a date night and redefined their workout to accommodate the physical and emotional changes in their lives.

All I can say is Wow! What better definition of respect and caring is there than when two very competitive people care enough about their partner’s health to surrender their own egos in order to transcend the complications that life throws at them? Which is exactly why they have been married for 21 years; it is the answer from above (pun intended) and it was a choice. They both chose to put the needs of the other above their own!

Thank you, Kevin and Laura Hopkins, for sharing a piece of your story with all of us and for demonstrating the principles the YMCA says build strong kids, strong families and strong communities.

More Than Weight Loss - Regina Hamlor's Story

By
B. Stuart Noll

Everyone’s life is its own unique story, a tale of intrigue in so many respects. The whys and wherefores of our lives are sometimes a mystery, often as much to us as they are to family and friends. One thing is certain though – no matter who you are or where you were born, if you’re human and you live on planet earth, we’re connected! Subsequently, we impact each other to one degree or another; consciously or unconsciously, positively or negatively. If the previous statement is true then wouldn’t it be prudent for us to associate with those people who have the most positive impact on us; people who, by virtue of living their lives, help us grow.

I know such a person – one of our members here at the Manchester YMCA - a very unique story and I would like to introduce this person to you. Before I do, imagine one day recognizing that you are grossly overweight, agonizingly short of breath and unknowingly living this life on the threshold between the here and the hereafter. Imagine a day approximately twelve years ago when you had to grab onto the railing with each upward step and you had to stop intermittently to gather your breath as you climbed to enter the Y, so you could work out for just 15 minutes. Imagine saying to yourself “I must take control of my life” or I will be medicated for hypertension (High Blood Pressure) for the rest of my life – however long that’s going to be!

I would like to introduce you to the woman that lived that life, but if I did, it wouldn’t be the one she is today. So let’s start again! In my brief interview with Regina Hamlor I saw a determined, unconquerable spirit of joy from a woman to whom it was revealed that she no longer had to “just hold on” to railings - or to life. Regina told me her story as I asked her why she had come to be a member at the YMCA.

After communicating with her doctor she decided that “just holding on” wasn’t good enough for her anymore. She said she was determined to beat all the statistics that said she couldn’t do it. She was ready for a change; she decided not only to begin but to finish! Over the 12 year period Regina has been a member of the YMCA, more specifically, in the past 5 to 6 years Ms Hamlor has lost in excess of 100 pounds. That’s right, I said over 100 lbs. And she isn’t done yet. Her commitment was to a life-changing experience, not a fad or a flash in the pan. Her history indicates she has what it takes to finish the race. Her doctor removed her from the medication and now when she arrives to work out she is no longer out of breath. She is, instead, invigorated and invigorating!

As a fitness instructor and a budding motivational coach I am fascinated with each individual’s reason for change and what keeps them going; their why, so to speak. It was easy to understand why Regina began a new lifestyle. I also wanted to know why she kept coming back to the YMCA. As she humbly smiled at the thought of answering, Regina quickly responded “It’s like we’re family. Life is not complete without it.”

Another big smile and then, Ms Hamlor pointed out that “it wasn’t just exercise.” There were a number of elements that contributed to her weight loss. She changed her eating habits and memorialized her desired blood pressure reading of 120/80 on her tape player and her refrigerator. She used the power of envisioning to produce her desired end, and she developed enriching, lifelong relationships with people here at the Manchester YMCA that continues to be a huge part of her success, even today.

There is one other enormously important element that Regina relayed during our brief interview. She said, “I prayed every day. The Lord is my source and it is He who receives the glory.”

I learned a lot about Regina Hamlor during our discussion. Over time I have watched her interact with others at the Y; on the bikes; on the mats and on the machines. My conversation with her and the things I learned from her and about her are my reward for this article. I am inspired by her conviction. I believe the adversity and perseverance through hard work enriched her life. When she shares her story it becomes an inspiration to others to make similar life-changing, and sometimes lifesaving changes. Ironically, in that respect, I think she has gained much more than she has lost!

There is something very, very special about her and not just because of her smile or her successful transition to a healthier life. I encourage you introduce yourself to her because I’m sure that if she just speaks her name to you it will be a blessing!

The Manchester YMCA of Greater Richmond has more to offer than just machines. It’s a place where respect, honesty, caring and responsibility are alive – in the place and in the people. Regina has had a positive impact on me, as well as others here at Manchester, and she is one of many inspiring members and stories in our family. We invite you too; to experience the interconnectedness and exhilaration of living a healthy and family oriented life at home and here at the Y!

Thanks for your time and remember;

“Your greatest discovery is yourself and your greatest investment is of yourself in others. The reward is sure. The choice of course, is always yours.” – B. Stuart Noll

Success Through One Man's Eyes - Part VII

Peace be with you!
In my quest for a distinct acronym for success I came across a series of definitions which I hadn't mentally connected with the word before. This intrigued me for some reason and caused me to think about the origin and application of the word representing the first "s" in success. Before I tell you what that word is let me see if these definitions strike you the same way.


(The Sea of Galilee)

Whole, pure, genuine; the word I'm using also describes one free from adulteration according to Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary. During periods of limited vocabulary usage I would not ordinarily associate wholeness, purity and genuineness with success. Not that it can't be, it's just that my conditioning (please go easy on me for being brutally honest here) about success has often been focused more on concrete and demonstrable character qualities like intelligence and strength. Perhaps even qualities that are visible like beauty, though in the eye of the beholder, have caught not only my fancy but that of Wall Street as a means of describing many forms of success.

So what "s" word being free from adulteration - whole, pure and genuine can I stretch as an indicator of success? Okay, you can look it up now if you want or you can just read on! I am referring to the act of being "Sincere."

So how does being whole, pure and genuine, in short sincere, lead to or help define success? Beyond the obvious answers there is also my not so obvious and perhaps abstract conclusion. Granted, this opinion is but one perspective and thus in reality carries weight with only me and of course I must use the frequent disclaimer is "subject to change" when better information is uncovered. (Just trying to be Honest, Sincere, and Real! Naturally I'm reminded that there really is no new information so what will change?)

In my opinion it doesn't matter what your definition of success is if you apply an attitude of wholeheartedness. Giving your whole heart is not an easy task beyond the lip service. Dedicating yourself to something or someone is incredibly important and often extremely difficult, more so if your heart is not pure but torn or divided. I cannot tell you how many times I tried to accomplish or achieve something only to fail because I hadn't committed my whole heart to the task of person. This is not about multi-tasking this is about surrendering the doubts, the selfish desires or any other obstacle which precludes us from giving something our all. More often than not these obstacles are internally generated not external. Wholehearted surrender to limitless thinking and acting will overcome virtually any obstacle, self induced or otherwise. Even failure is is a form of success when you offer your whole heart because you will have gained valuable experience that only goes unpaid when you quit! I guarantee it!

Purity and genuineness are synonymous with wholeness as they describe a character that is unfettered by the outside world. There is a gravitational pull towards people how are pure and genuine, even when they make mistakes, and they do if they're really human. Pure and genuine people will say, "forgive me, I was wrong." They somehow know instinctively that they don't have to be right all the time in order to be exactly who they are. They have examined themselves sufficiently to reveal an inner knowing that transcends all the obstacles of life.

Sincerity is unadulterated joy and peace with yourself. It says I don't have to be anything or anyone other than who I was created to be to be successful, however I define it. I just have to be me. It's not all about me either. The wholehearted, pure and genuine people of this world look for the best in others. They hold fast to seeing love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control in others as well as themselves.

Sincerity is a step in the ladder of success because it is powerful enough to withstand the winds of change and flexible enough to flow with it when necessary. Sincerity leads to success because love is its motive.

Peace be with you my friends.
Shalom

Success Through One Man's Eyes - Part VI

Everyone and their mother watched as Michael Phelps became arguably the greatest Olympic athlete in history. I guess you could call that success. Most of us stood in awe of his accomplishments - winning 8 Gold medals in swimming, and breaking Olympic records in the process. By itself, that's enough for most of us. But, there is more!

I wanted to write about principles that are relevant to todays young men and how they can measure success. In my acronym for success I intended to use the "e" to denote excellence. As worthy a goal as seeking excellence is Michael Phelps' achievements reminded me of two other "e's" that are every bit as important and relevant today. They are endurance and enthusiasm.

Did Michael Phelps demonstrate excellence in the pool? You bet! Were his skills superior to anyone in China that week? Oh - my - Gosh, yeah Howdy! But, what struck me more than his incredible, unbelievable. almost inconceivable quest to surpass Mark Spitz's seven Olympic Gold Medals was the way in which he accomplished his amazing feat.

Where do I start? Honoring his mother with each glance and recognition of her contribution to his life; sharing his moments of glory with his sisters; acknowledging with enormous humility the contribution of his teammates (all world class athletes in their own right) and demonstrating an image that could be emulated by every young man with complete and utter confidence of acceptance. Wow! How important a contribution is that?

But, there's more! What struck me the most was his enthusiasm and endurance. His enthusiasm for living in the moment; not only of the 2008 Olympic games, but in the years of competition and training that led up to his spectacular achievements in China. Michael Phelps remained focused and present in each event, not with an eye on the future but enthusiastically executing each small victory up the ladder to the Gold Medal podium. This is the message of his victory. True excellence in any endeavor can only truly be accomplished by remaining present in each very special moment of life.

There's still more! Although he remained present in each event, this presence was the culmination of many years of enduring the practices, the competitions, the exhausting rigors of Olympic and world class caliber training regimens that would destroy most of us. Is he gifted? Absolutely! But he also endured for a very long stretch of time. He got up for the game every day, focused on the moment knowing only that he would compete that day or in the next event, if he was healthy physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. He endured by choice; by deciding to do so. That is an attitude worthy of emulation. Frankly, many athletes and professionals in other areas of life enjoy the same perspective. This is just Michael's time in the spotlight.

One last thought, if I may? This is also just one man in the limelight. There are thousands of people in various vocations and avocations that demonstrate similar attitudes. Thank God, though all too often unnoticed, they are present in their teaching or police work or management or gardening or you name it. They too, have that special or spectacular Gold Medal something which they enthusiastically demonstrate in an enduring way.

The reality is that you too, possess an ability equally worthy of emulation, duplication or respect. The question is will you be present each moment of the day? Will you submit your will humbly and subordinate yourself to a cause bigger than you are in order to accomplish your goal. I believe Michael Phelps did; and we all gained something special from it.

Success Through One Man's Eyes - Part V

Peace be with you!

The next part of the success acronym is the second "c", for which I have chosen the word "Challenged. " I'm sure you'll notice that the form is past tense. Oh, by the way the photo attached here is one of the many trestle bridges along the New River Tail near Pulaski, Virginia. The photo was taken, as almost all of those exhibited in my work are, by my wife and life partner, Debbie-Phillips-Noll.

All of us are challenged by something, whether it's by the peers of our youth, or by our kids in their youth, or by personal issues of all kinds at any stage or time in our lives. Some challenges are easily overcome and others test our very souls. It's the latter that I want to discuss briefly here for when we are challenged beyond what we think we can accomplish, we grow. When we face adversity with a positive outlook we have the best chance to conquer that which would conquer us. Whether it is internal or external, how we face life events, planned or unplanned, in essence how we are challenged determines the quality of life we live.

Being challenged can be a "buzz word" in todays American culture. We can be challenged by work, school, sports, family, friends, or in many cases just by daily events. But what helps us succeed most is, I believe, how we are challenged by ourselves. Our successes and failures are not entirely based on what happens to us, but how we respond to what happens to us. I believe what we are challenged by most is out attitude toward life, no matter what the circumstance is and I believe that our perspective also determines our degree of success or failure.

For most I think, it is not being intellectually or emotionally challenged that causes them to stumble but the spiritual challenge of seeing that which is not yet tangible or seeing that which has not yet occurred in such a way that it is remarkably effective in terms of the eventual outcome. When we choose to see ourselves or the circumstances of our lives in the present and in a positive framework we put ourselves in the greatest possible position for success.

One of the games that I appreciate the most in terms of skill and strategy is billiards. In billiards, it isn't just the ability to make the shot you are currently playing that helps you win, but the ability to see the position of the cue ball for future shots that determines your chances of winning the game. The best billiards players are those who can combine the skill of executing the present shot with the skill of seeing future shots and placing the cue ball in excellent position to make each of the subsequent shots.

The same thing happens with our perspective about life. After the break, so to speak, when the table has been determined - the difference between success and failure - the difference in running the table or leaving the door open for your opponent, is our ability to see the shots that haven't yet been made and our ability to execute the ones that present themselves to us along the way.

There will be the naysayers and skeptics in our path and that's okay. There is also significant research and testimony to support living life positively, with vision, purpose, and perspective. I find myself challenged each day to get up for the game, to put on the type of mindset that will put me in the best possible position to execute what I am presently aiming at and place me in position for the next best available shot.

Personally, I decided several years ago (and that was later than I should have) that despite what is a attributed to Hall of Fame Football and legendary coach Vince Lombardi about "winning isn't everything, it's the only thing," that I would live a challenged life every day. I would make every effort to envision that which cannot be seen and view myself in the best possible position to respond positively and not to react negatively to each circumstance. I would challenge myself to keep focused not so much on winning, but on doing the best I can now, today, and accept the outcome as the beginning of a new challenge.

My prayer for you is that you too, will be challenged to live fully in the present, no matter the circumstance and to decide right now to be challenged to see yourself today, not only winning but, doing that which you were designed to do.

Shalom my friends and peace be with you!